Sunday, December 11, 2011

I am soooooo tired

Not in that way but I just realized today something about yesterday.
I was shopping all afternoon yesterday and even though it wasn't actual shopping I had lots of fun talked to a couple of people and saw a couple of others that I knew. It was a great Saturday!
Then I got in my car to go home and a very strange tiredness washed over me.
I got to thinking and could not think why I'd be tired all the sudden.
Then I thought of someone. Then I thought a weird thought, "You should let that person know how much you appreciate their modesty."
I did as much then drove home.
Then today at church we were talking about indulgences and judgement and thoughts, words and actions and I realized why I was so tired.
I had been subconsciously fighting all day.
I was not physically drained, I was mentally and emotionally drained from pornography.
Pornography is so pervasive that I don't actually recall a single instance that stands out. However, after shopping for an afternoon I got in the car and texted a friend, "Thank you for being modest."
Only later did I realize that it was so exhaustive to go out and be in the toxic that I could only find refuge in a friend, the temple, a day at church and the Spirit.

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